Welcome to our little slice of paradise! Clear Lake Shores is probably one of the best kept secrets in the entire Bay Area. Yes we are an island. We are surrounded by Clear Lake, Jarbo Bayou and the Lazy Bend canals. Plug this in to Google Maps and you'll see what I mean 29.32' by 95.01' We are about half way between Galveston Island and the city of Houston and located in north Galveston county. I will try to keep us up on all the goings on that we can walk, boat, bike or drive our golf carts to. Very few things pi$$ me off but one of them is wasting my precious time. I'll try not to waste yours. Enjoy. ab

Monday, June 30, 2014

National Meteor Day

Who knew? Big Civic Club meeting coming up Thursday. Friday is the biggest event of the year for your Civic Club. That’s’ the day that you renew your annual dues and all the email lists get updated. There’s a ton of stuff lined up for Fridays events beginning with the Golf Cart Parade and including something new in the Pie Baking contest. All proceeds go to the Police Equipment Fund. Please come to the meeting Thursday.

Civic Club meeting info
7:00 Dinner
    A - K  Bring entrees
    L - R  Veggies and salads
    S - Z   Desserts

7:30   Meeting - unapproved minutes of the last meeting are attached

Come out and help us finish up plans for the 4th - lots of help is needed and its a great way to get involved

PIE BAKERS - Bring two pies for the contest on the 4th  - the judges will taste each one, then we'll sell by the slice to benefit the police equipment fund.

Letter from the President:
Things are coming along with all the preparations for this coming Friday and Saturday's fun! I hope your planning on entering the golf cart parade competition. The trophies are all polished up for first and second place winner's and one for best child's entry.

Now, for more fun and excitement! If you have artwork, crafts, home goods or other items you would like to sell on Friday while the crowds are gathered at the pavilion, we're asking you to come early and set up your wares and sell your stuff! You will need to have your own table and canopy for shade (or the dreaded rain), as well as your own chairs. We'll have places marked off around the pavilion for you - what a great audience to sell your stuff to! All we are asking is that you please donate 10% of your sales to the Civic Club to help us pay for Club expenses.
If you want us to hold a spot for you, please contact Terri Roberson right away! Her email is: Or call her at 281-773-1142. Or flag her down if you see her out and about on the island, but contact her right away to get your spot reserved!

We've got a great weekend planned! Come to Thursday night's Civic Club meeting and hear all about it! We need volunteers to help set up and clean up on Friday, so we'll have a sign up sheet for you. We truly appreciate your involvement, support and help!

See you soon! Thank you so much!

Debbie Darwin
CLSCC – President

Tomorrows City Council Agenda
Vern Johnson, Mayor AGENDA Al Burns, Mayor Pro-Tem

Bryan Hoerner CITY OF CLEAR LAKE SHORES Amanda Booren


 July 1, 2014 @ 7:00 P.M.





  Councilwoman Bailey

 Mayor Pro-Tem Burns

 Councilman Hoerner

 Councilwoman Booren

 Councilman Ianni

 Mayor Johnson


 City Administrator

 Police Chief



 a. Check Register: June 12 thru June 25, 2014

 b. Council Meeting minutes from June 17, 2014

 c. Workshop minutes from June 11, 2014

7. COUNCIL BUSINESS - Discussion and possible action may be taken on the following


 a. Appointment of Council Members to: the Waterfront Compliance

 Committee, Planning and Zoning Committee and Pool Committee.

 (Councilwoman Booren has volunteered to be the liason to the Pool

 Committee). City Administrator George Jones

b. Award of bid for reconstruction of Grove, Hawthorne, a portion of Forest

 Rd. and certain intersections along Clear Lake Road.

 City Administrator George Jones





 WHICH THE ACCUSED HAS FAILED TO APPEAR: City Administrator George Jones

 d. Accept Linebarger Goggan Blair & Sampson, LLP contract for assistance in

 collection of outstanding fines and warrants.

 City Administrator George Jones

  e. Adoption of a Code of Ethics for City Officers. City Administrator George Jones

 f. Creation of the Landscape and Beautification Advisory Committee (LBAC) that

 would be responsible for providing recommendations, guidance and assistance to

 the City Administrator with a primary focus on landscape improvements,

 landscape maintenance and other beautification projects. Councilman Hoerner

g. Hiring of a Seasonal Landscape Specialist that would work 6 months per

 year (April through September) focused primarily on landscape

 improvements, landscape maintenance and other beautification projects

 under the supervision and direction of the City Administrator.

 Councilman Hoerner

  h. Development of an ordinance governing waterfront lease rules.

 Councilman Hoerner



I, Angie Galvan, Assistant City Secretary, certify that this Notice of Meeting was posted on the outside
bulletin board at 931 Cedar Drive on or before Friday, June 27, 2014.

 Angie Galvan

THe Original Search Engine
for The Whole Wide World

Friday, June 27, 2014

Oldies but goodies

And it's National Sunglasses Day!

An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that  you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'  

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?" 
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen.  After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.  She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Do I know her?'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

National Catfish Day!

Thank you President Reagan for this jewel. And for everyone else it’s National Leon Day. Wha? It’s Noel spelled backwards and marks the six month point till Christmas. Evidently it’s a big day for craters. OK.

Senor Beans will be lighting it up this Friday night at Noah's Ark, for Parrot Head Friday Night!  This one is always a good time!
    Friday June 27th 7 ~ 10Noah's Ark Bar And Grill (see Facebook page)
    4438 Boulevard Street
    Bacliff TX, 77518
    281 339 2895

Then on Saturday night, I will be back at my favorite neighborhood pub, Aspens Bar and Grill just off FM2094 (Marina Bay Drive)  Great folks, good pizza and sandwiches and a great bar!  Come hear some of your old favorites and a few surprises too.  From FM2094 go north on Clear Lake Road, one block to Aspen Road>
    Aspen's Bar and Grill (see Facebook page)
    817 Aspen Road
    Clear lake Shores, TX 77565

On Tuesday, July 1st, I will be back at T-Bone Toms From 6:00PM ~ 10:00.  Be sure to get there in time for Happy Hour (5~6:30) for hot deals on beer, ritas, shrimp cocktails, fish tacos and more!

Hope to see you all for some good times and thanks for all your support!!
832 857 2326 (c)

PS:  I have been signed for 4 Tuesday night shows (there's that Tuesday thing again *;) winking) at Amadeus Italian Restaurant and Bar in Kemah (see Facebook page):
        July 8th & 22nd, 7~11PM
        August 5th & 19th, 7~11PM
More details next month. 

 Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water……I shit you not.
Hot off the wire.

 I consider this a late Birthday present. To the Seabrook officers, We feel your pain. Thanks Paul, for the heads up.
HOUSTON (CN) - Two Texas cops tackled an elderly grandmother as she watered plants in her front yard and arrested her on a bogus public intoxication charge, the woman claims in Federal Court.
     Barbara Nichols sued the city of Seabrook and its police Officer Austin Schwartz.
     Nichols says she was watering plants in her yard on May 16 when she noticed police in her driveway.
     "Seeing that the officers were walking down the street, plaintiff perceived that there was no danger to her in her own yard and continued watering her plants and flowers," the complaint states. "Defendant Schwartz instructed plaintiff to return to her home in a rude and abusive tone and stated that there was a 'vicious dog' on the loose that had 'attacked a child.'
     "Observing that there was no dog in the immediate vicinity of plaintiff s home, plaintiff again perceived that there was no danger to her in her own yard and refused to return to her home."
     Nichols says that's when Schwartz snapped.
     "Immediately and without warning, defendant Schwartz and another large male officer tackled plaintiff, an elderly grandmother with preexisting serious health issues, to the ground, handcuffed her hands behind her back, and forced her into the back of a police car."
     Schwartz later told Nichols she was being arrested for public intoxication, which Nichols calls a "legal impossibility" because she was detained in her yard.
     Nichols says she spent the night in jail and Schwartz denied her request for a blanket and pain medicine until she agreed to be booked by him.
     When Nichols was released, she says, she headed straight to a hospital to get treatment for the injuries Schwartz caused.
     She demands $3 million in damages for civil rights violations, negligent hiring, official oppression, illegal arrest and detention, assault and battery, trespass and infliction of emotional distress.
     She is represented by Paul LaValle of Texas City.
Everyone that buys this bullshit raise your hand. Oh, but congrats on becoming a grandmother.

“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” Bob Marley

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

It's National Praline Day

From neighbor Amanda;
Hello Clear Lake Shores! The scholarship committee is in the final days of soliciting items for the silent auction at the annual July 4th celebration at the Paul Shelley Pavilion at Jarboe Bayou Park. We’re less than two weeks away!!

Some things till on our wish list include:

·       Gift cards / certificates to local businesses and restaurants

·       Gift baskets

·       iPod and / or Kindle

·       Kids items

·       Sports-themed items (college, professional)

If you have something to donate, please contact Amanda Booren at, 281-924-9660, or drop off donation items by Friday, June 27 at 506 East Shore. Monetary donations will also gladly be accepted. J This is for a great cause! Proceeds raised from the silent auction will go toward scholarships for Clear Lake Shores seniors who meet the requirements. We thank you for your support in making this event successful!

Spot the Space Station

Time: Tue Jun 24 9:30 PM, Visible: 3 min, Max Height: 69 degrees, Appears: WNW, Disappears: SSE
                                                                       Ready or NOT

Back by popular demand, East will meet West in Water Wars VI.  Saturday July 5th, 10am – 1pm.  Hours subject to change, but I am holstering my weapons shortly after lunch on the 5th and enjoying a lazy float on the lake.  I am sure the ice water infused mayhem will continue on just fine without me.  Maybe this year the West side will decide to show up and finally put a win on the board.

We have a lot of newbies in our little slice of paradise, so here’s a rehash of the ground rules for those that would like to participate.  Most of the rules are commonsense, but some people still need a reminder.

  • If you want to play, identify yourself and your target. Last year we used the three middle fingers ( ALL THREE BUD!) pointing straight up to signal W for west side of Clear Lake Road or the same fingers pointed sideways ∑ letting folks know you represent the East side of the Island.

  • If you blast someone who is not playing you are on your own. Know that some of your neighbors have a very poorly developed sense of humor.

  • No water balloons. I know they seem like a good idea but they are not and they leave a god awful mess.

  • All official parks are hereby designated DMZs. That’s De-Militarized Zone. That’s right ALL PARKS are safe zones.

  • No firing at a moving vehicle. NO. Not everyone wants to play.

  • No water balloons – Hit me with a water balloon and I will hit you with a rock.

  • No firing from a moving vehicle. That’s right no pickup truck. I feel stupid just having to say this but there is a reason I have to.

  • Do I even need to say water only? Clean water only?

  • No water balloons - EVER

We have made it through five water wars without a serious injury and we all want to keep it that way. Please, obey the LAW and respect it – no kids driving carts. If you don’t have a license you can’t drive the cart.  It really is that simple, but yet still so hard for some people to grasp the concept.

Do we need to remind the children, young and old alike, there will be lots of non-combatants cruising our neighborhood not watching for kids darting out into the street?  Try to keep the skirmishes out of traffic and don’t jump out in front of a buggy expecting it to stop on a dime.

Be careful and most importantly have fun!

Rob Brown