Welcome to our little slice of paradise! Clear Lake Shores is probably one of the best kept secrets in the entire Bay Area. Yes we are an island. We are surrounded by Clear Lake, Jarbo Bayou and the Lazy Bend canals. Plug this in to Google Maps and you'll see what I mean 29.32' by 95.01' We are about half way between Galveston Island and the city of Houston and located in north Galveston county. I will try to keep us up on all the goings on that we can walk, boat, bike or drive our golf carts to. Very few things pi$$ me off but one of them is wasting my precious time. I'll try not to waste yours. Enjoy. ab

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Next is a baking question. That’s right baking. The recipe goes blah, blah, blah, punch down the dough, cover and let blah, blah, blah. What happens if I don’t punch down the dough? Enquiring minds……

From Neighbor Steve…Lots of opportunities!!
JSC: See the Space Station
Viewers in the JSC area will be able to see the International Space Station this week.

Wednesday, Jan. 30, 6:26 a.m. (Duration: 4 minutes)
Path: 11 degrees above NW to 38 degrees above ESE
Maximum elevation: 58 degrees

Thursday, Jan. 31, 5:37 a.m. (Duration: 2 minutes)
Path: 23 degrees above N to 23 degrees above ENE
Maximum elevation: 27 degrees

Friday, Feb. 1, 6:23 a.m. (Duration: 5 minutes)
Path: 17 degrees above WNW to 10 degrees above SSE
Maximum elevation: 35 degrees

Saturday, Feb. 2, 5:35 a.m. (Duration: 3 minutes)
Path: 61 degrees above SE to 10 degrees above SE
Maximum elevation: 61 degrees

Huge Thanks to Ronnie Richards and the EDC Team for all your hard work and time on the Town Center Project. We voted for it years ago and it’s finally going to take wing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Mardi Gras Parade and gathering is on for February 9th. Chief Cook will have an escort for our golf carts and we are lining up for a Red Beans and Rice extravaganza in the Club house afterwards.
Don’t wait until the last minute to decorate your golf cart I hear there’s gonna be a trophy!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Seems like yesterday..

It’s hard to believe it’s been 27 years. I was working for Barrios Technology and we had recently moved in to our new bldg at 1331 Gemini. Rick Graves and I were the IT department before it was called IT. Back then everyone gathered around a TV in a conference room to watch a launch. Lorna Onizuka worked for Barrios also supporting the Japanese Space agency NASDA. 27 years. Still hurts like yesterday.

Happy Birthday to my little sister! I just left a short rendition on your voice mail Pooh.

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends.

This blog had its’ two year anniversary Saturday. Nearly a quarter million views, 486 posts and 4,787 published comments. Apparently we’ve had a lot on our collective minds. Interesting.

Neighbor Jan had a great idea tell me what you think. The Club meeting is a week from Thursday which makes it February 7th. The Mardi Gras Golf Cart Parade is Saturday the 9th. What about we end the Parade with a feast of Red Beans and Rice at the Club House? If we get enough response I’ll see who wants to bring a dish. Watch for emails. And here’s a heads up, IF you don’t get an email that means we do not have your email address in the Clubs distribution list. Nothing we can’t fix but you have to tell us you want on.

Did you make it to the Chili cook off Saturday? Yet another first. Huge congrats to the winner, Stuart Adams who not only took first place out of 26 entries but pulled it off at the ripe old age of 7. Rock on Stewie! Great music, great turn out. Thanks Craig and Raynel for hosting. It was an extra treat to see our new City Administrator and his lovely wife there. And then to top off the weekend I found out that my friend on Bluepoint was evicted last week. Bon Vonage Babs.

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they
need at home?
 Joey says "A computer." The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."
 Kimmy says "A new lawn mower." and gets a similar response.
 Little Johnny pops up and says "At my house we don't need nothing!"
 The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs
 Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When President Obama was re-elected, I
remember my dad saying, 'Well, that's the last f&*#$%ng thing we needed".

Friday, January 25, 2013

18 hours

Don't forget YOUR Farmers Market! And I hear there will be a knife sharpener there. I'm in!
Here are some of the vendors...
The Farmers Market at Clear Lake Shores
1020 Marina Bay Drive, Next to Skipper's
Real Local Food - Real Local Farmers 9:00-1:00
We are NOT the market in Kemah

Alamo Tamales

Gulf Coast Gourmet Foods

Faiths Garden Shed

Kapau Empanadas

Delafield Pottery

RELEAF Cutting Boards
We are a
Dog Friendly Market.
Leashes Please and don't forget to clean up after your Pups.

Wined Down Candles

Organo Gold Healthy Coffee and Teas

Ergo Jewelry

Juice Plus +

Tower Gardening

Froberg's Farm

Texas Grass Fed Beef

South Star of Texas 

Sharpening Pro

Free-Range Eggs   

Local Honey

Fireflower Jewelry


Martin Griffin

Roses' are red
Violets are blue
My Chili is GREAT
Rob's is like GLUE!


Thursday, January 24, 2013

51 hours to go

Elmers making Chili!

Weather for Saturday January 26th
Clear Lake Shores        72 Partly Cloudy and 20% COR.
PyongYang                  25 and Sunny
Mumbai                       86 and mostly Sunny

A guy stopped at a local gas station, and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole.

The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can into a trash container and headed down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?"

"Well, we work for the government and we're just doing our job," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?"

"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back.

Elmer's job's been cut ... so now it's just me an' Leroy

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wednesday the 23rd

This is your last chance to come up with a) an excuse or b) a chili recipe. Lord knows I’ve heard and used my share of excuses but I never get tired of making fun of them. I mean who can forget Adelia’s “chili” in a used gas can? Yeah hon, I’m sure it was the plastic taste that kept you from winning and no, it wasn’t that clean. Then there’s Jeremy’s famous, for all the wrong reasons, bologna & beer soup/chili. My chili has a first name its O S C A R….. And nobody, but nobody can get hair off a cat better than Wisnoski! Ever since he stopped with the cheese grater and went to the potato peeler………hey Wis, kill it first next time, it won’t bite so hard. If you have yet to RSVP to our Host you really should take the time to do so. Remember what happens if you wait too long you have to set up next to Rob and his coriander concoction that he calls chili,chilli,Chile,chilly,chily,chillie. Chiley. If the smell of burning hair doesn’t bother you I guess it’s no biggie.
This is where I should remind you that standing on concrete all day is good for your posture but when you’re as old and fat as I am sitting is OK too but you damn well better bring your own chair. I’ll have Rolaids for a buck a piece after the judging and Larry is has rented a stomach pump. I’ve never seen one with a kick start on it.
Enjoy your week and we’ll see y’all Saturday!!
Don’t forget to RSVP to Craig & Raynel Ward or 281 3OO 3541

The Civic Club Mardi Gras Golf Cart Parade is ON! Just heard from our Mistress of Ceremonies, Sam, and she has declared February 9th, a Saturday, as Parade day. Lineup will begin at 11 with roll out at Noon. We’ll hammer out the details and post them here as soon as I get ‘em. Now is a perfect time to remind everyone of a few ground rules. First and foremost NO open containers. I shouldn’t even have to say that but it’s a habit. Next, Only Licensed drivers can be behind the wheel. Hear me mom and dad? NOW is the perfect time to renew your membership dues and yes I will happily accept your dues that morning. Why did I add this item you ask? This parade is open to everyone who wants to come out and join in the fun. The more the merrier. But it is a Club function and all prizes go to Club members only. We’ve been a tad lax on this provision in the past but we need to get back to basics. If you are in doubt about your status ask me, I’ll find out for you. Short version, The Civic Club functions off your dues. If you’re having fun please consider pitching in.

Friend in need----
I'm reaching out because a friend of mine needs some help.
His wife told him to go out & get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.
When he came back, he tossed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.
Can any of you help him?

Monday, January 21, 2013

Happy Birthday to my Mother-in-Law Carol!

Decided to go to the Houston Zoo today. It's not often we volunarily leave the Island but it was time. Haven't been in 10 or so years. in the 70's and 80's that was my go to place for first dates or wasted days. Sometimes both. Back in the day I was even a Zoo Friend.  It sure has changed. Lots of new construction too. It was a lot of fun. Even with all the dumbasses that were there. My right hand to God, from the time we got in the parking lot to the time we found a spot was longer than the drive from here to there. To any Zoo officials who stumble across this message, you my friends have a signage problem. I am willing to write off a lot of the things to new construction and all round growning pains but just try and find a sign that points to your parking lot. I had two other people watching fot signs and I had a good idea of where I was and where I was trying to get to. There is one and it's on Cambridge. Feel free to get back to me get back to me on that. Then there were the mismarked displays. Even my 12 year old got tired of pointing them out. While all those booboos are kinda of fun you need to send a maintenance man out tomorrow morning and rip that $#%ing sign off the pole at MacGregor and Almeda that points to Zoo. That is 35 minutes of my life I'll never get back. That's like putting a Dallas sign on 45 south. Yes, technically you can there but why the hell would you want to? It's just stupid. It won't stop us from going back though. We loved the whole African Forest section, the Giraffes were awesome and Wyatt left his face print on way too many of your fish tanks.

It was good to get back on the Island. To all of our neighbors who make that daily trek to the city and beyond, hats off to you. It's nice to remind myself every so often just how nice I have it.

Saturday is the day you need to be at Craig and Raynels for the 31st annual Chili Cook Off. See previous posts for the rules. Oh, wait, there are no rules. The weather will be, as usual, near perfect. A tad warm if anything.

Fargo     18 and partly sunny. 18 what?
Key West     75 and rainy
CLS         61 and sunny

Club News:
What a great Game Night! Dahlia and Eloy taught a bunch of us a new card game called Baseball. It was a hoot and we played it for 4 hours last night. A side note, I have been playing a computer game called Mah Jongg for 20 years. Well at Game Night we were treated to the real McCoy. It turns out that Jan, having spent time in China, is a Mah Jongg expert and schooled the Batchelor family big time. What a blast! PS the computer game isn't even close. Not sure how the domino table ended up. I just know they were full. We will definatly do that again. Any Spades players out there?
Our First meeting of 2013 will be the 7th of February. Come on out and help us plan all the fun we are going to have in 2013. And trust me when I say we are going to squeeze in all the fun we can. We will start with ManCakes on the 16th. Do you believe it's been 10 years of ManCake fun? A couple of things I want to toss out. First the Chairman of our Board of Directors is Wanda Dowell, she has asked that we solicit one more board member. If you would like to serve on the Board please contact one of the officers or Wanda directly. The term is for two years and they meet once a quarter. The pay is crap but it's kinda fun. In that vein, our longest standing committee is looking for some relief. Our Scholarship Committee is ready to pass the torch. And righty so as Cindy and Betty have been at the helm for several years now. Come on people, it's not hard and planning on party a year can hardly be considered work. Time to step up. AND I'm working on the new Chairman burgees! so if/When you chair a sponsored event you will get a truly one of a kind thank you award from a greatful Civic Club. Come on you know you want to.

Then it's on the Mardi Gras! We have a Parade to put on so get your purple, green and gold on because there will certainly be a prize in there somewhere. And that's just the beginning. We have soooo much stuff on tap for March it ain't funny. See you at the meeting?

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

That's him on Aisle 5 - he never knew what hit him...


Friday, January 18, 2013

Happy Friday!

Game Night! 
The place to be is the Club House this Friday evening. Bring your favorite board game and I’ll fire up the popcorn machine!
I'm bringing a deck of cards and a set of dominoes. Anyone in for a game of Spades?
See you tonight and YES you can bring the kids!
Got Kids? Maybe you would like to be on the Civic Clubs Scholarship Committee? Drop me a line or better yet come to our next meeting on Feb 7th!
Mancakes, There are only 3 spots left! If you want to join in the fun you need to speak up now! Ladies, by all means feel free to "volunteer" you man!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Game Night! 
The place to be is the Club House this Friday evening. Bring your favorite board game and I’ll fire up the popcorn machine!
Got Kids? Maybe you would like to be on the Civic Clubs Scholarship Committee? Drop me a line or better yet come to our next meeting on Feb 7th!.
Mancakes, There are only 4 spots left! If you want to join in the fun you need to speak up now! Ladies, by all means feel free to "volunteer" you man!
Put this on your calendar. If you were here for Ike you know how important this is. If you were not here for Ike, trust me, put this on your calendar.
The Mayor and I were at a FEMA meeting on Tuesday and we were asked to publicize an event coming up on February 20.  The event is a FEMA “Open House” to be held in the Ballroom of the League City Johnny Orolfo Civic Center from 2:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m.   This is located at 400 West Walker.   At the open house, FEMA officials will be present to help area residents with any questions regarding flood insurance and there should be some information on probable changes in the flood insurance rating system.
Also, they will be able to show individual property owners the elevations of their property and where it is in relationship to the BFE (base flood elevation). 
It would be appreciated if you could help us publicize this event.

10 Days to go!
The time table is roughly this. kickoff at 12, judging at 3 and they give me my trophy at 4 and the little people get to eat. Now, lets go over the ground rules for all you newbies and Vita-Mix junkies. First and foremost Rule Number One is there are no rules. But what about the chili rules you say? I'll repeat for you slow readers. There are no rules. Period. To drive that point home I ever so vaguely remember a white bean and chicken thing winning once.
Next, we really, really want to avoid a repeat of the brown-out of '94. If you are bringing your creation in a crock pot and you want to plug that same crock pot in to an outlet we need to know. We need to know in advance how many crock pots need to be plugged in. I swear Reliant has a wanted poster with Craig's face on it. 
If you are bringing your concoction in a pot that uses an open flame, i.e. propane, wood or cow pies we need to know. Open flames have their own special quirks that need to be dealt with. We haven't lost anyone to open flames since '88 and want to keep it that way. She healed nicely if you must know but has moved to a cooler climate. If you plan on using Solar heat, good for you, I'll notify Al Gore. If your Chili, Chilli, Chilly, Chily, Chile, Chille is self heating, please note that your cook off will be held in Little Rock on the 27th.
Onward. Yes, there is a trophy and if by some freak occurrence a monkey flies out of my butt and gives you my trophy you have to put a new battery in it for next year.
Lastly, Judges are not paid. Overtly. And you can't prove it.  Our lead judge in past years has been the illustrious Mr. Thomas Mott. I understand his stomach replacement was a success. Mr. Mott, you up for it again you sick freak?
Any special requests will be promptly ignored with a great big smile. Any questions ?
Please drop a comment in the form of an RSVP on this blog or an email to me or Craigbob at and for the love of all that Holy don't wait till the day before. Craig starts gettin' all twitchy when he doesn't get any RSVP's and then he starts buggin' the crap outta me. This years fine for not RSVPing is a bowl of Robs lumpy coriander flavored, cat stew right in the kisser.

PS.Yes, it's mostly kid friendly and yes you can bring a friend. Actually, the more the merrier.

"I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution" 
Wernher von Braun
Let the Chili-Smack begin