IslandDrumz

Welcome to our little slice of paradise! Clear Lake Shores is probably one of the best kept secrets in the entire Bay Area. Yes we are an island. We are surrounded by Clear Lake, Jarbo Bayou and the Lazy Bend canals. Plug this in to Google Maps and you'll see what I mean 29.32' by 95.01' We are about half way between Galveston Island and the city of Houston and located in north Galveston county. I will try to keep us up on all the goings on that we can walk, boat, bike or drive our golf carts to. Very few things pi$$ me off but one of them is wasting my precious time. I'll try not to waste yours. Enjoy. ab

Thursday, February 6, 2014

WARNING: RANT enclosed

Civic Club meeting tonight. Lots to talk about, By-Laws, Yachty Gras, ManCakes and new Officers just to name a few.

Well here we are in the single digits. Only 8 days to go till the big Chili Cook off at the Ward place. By now you should have reached a decision. So which is it? Present your lameass excuse or your lameass Chili? I have to admit, it does take some onions to put your chili up against such formidable opponents. Lindelow is promising to show up with an entry. It's always a treat. Especially if you don't get a hair in your mouth. Rob will undoubtedly have his “specialty” chiily. I hear he has finally done something about the smell. Iguanas do not naturally smell like that.  Ever had bologna chili? Well if the Port Arthur crowd shows up you’re in for something special. Craig gets a little nervous every year about this time because of the lack of response from y'all. I tell him it's normal. Fear has that effect. Let Craig feel some love and RSVP him. And don’t forget to bring a chair.

Larry had a little spam
The fire he did blow
And all the while that Larry cooked
It’s grease was slow to flow
He took it to a chili do
The do that had no rules
It made the judges hack and spray
And surely they did drool

RANT
I used to smoke. Like many of my generation smoking was not only OK but it was the thing to do. It was cool. Mary Lou got me started with something that was as long as my hand. I bought my first pack of Camel Filter Kings when Johnson was President. Like most of us I’m sure, I coughed and gagged and fought hard not to yak all over my feet but kept on puffing. More off than on until I was about 40. I think I was about 10 when they started printing warnings on the box. This crap will kill you. Everyone who doesn’t know smoking is bad for you raise your hand. We get it. Now CVS is going to stop selling tobacco because they just figured it out. A tad late I guess but better late than never? I guess the next question for CVS is what’s next? I can’t think of anyone that has ever touted the medicinal benefits of Fritos. Are Chips next? All that salt. Ice Cream? I got it. Alcohol. It’s gotta be beer. Or Wine. What will they end up with on the shelf? Beauty products? What about all that animal testing? It may not be harmful to our health but I bet the animals are keen to drop it. Soda Pop? Bingo. It’s got to be worse than Candy. Oh crap all that sugar. Glossy magazines? Save a tree. I suppose the Pharmacists are safe when it’s all said and done but they damn well better get rid of the drive through. All that air pollution from idling cars. Puuleeeze. Yes, CVS has every right to pick what they want to put on their shelves. Of course they do. But I am a grown-ass man and I really don’t need or want the corner store to tell me what is good or bad for me. I have a big enough problem with government intruding on my behalf. Uninvited I might add. I HATE having to wear my seatbelt. Yes I know it’s a good idea. I didn’t say it wasn’t. I said I hate HAVING to wear my seatbelt. Remember what they said? It’ll save lives and your Insurance will go down. My insurance didn’t go down. Did yours? I call BS. You can’t prove a negative anon so don’t waste the electrons with crap like “we don’t know how high insurance rates would be if …”. I’ve managed to live this long by making my own decisions. Not all of them were good ones but I managed to bungle my way through. A little scar tissue builds character.  I call that experience. Back to smoking. Did you know there are some people who cannot smoke in their home? Yep. Inside their castle. Thanks to some politician. Some places you can’t smoke outside. Outside. Someone might not like the smell. I say back the f#$% up if you don’t like the smell. I might not like your smell. I don’t care for the smell either but when I go to Aspens I don’t demand everyone inside stop smoking. I decide to leave when I’ve had all I can stand. This is me pitching my CVS Value card.

Mathematics:
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint.. and it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that whileHard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there.
It’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with you AB. Throwing out my CVS card too. The prices were so high on the cigarettes I doubt they were making much of a profit which is why I betcha they are discontinuing them. NOT for health reasons. Who cares.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if last years winner has removed the trophy from the showcase at Stewart elementary yet. You may take it home again but you will have to at least bring it by to let everyone see it and touch it. Good luck young mr Adams, I hope you keep it another year

Craig

Rob Scherer said...

What is that stench I smell coming from the corner of Pine and Forest? Oh now I know. AB, practice, practice, practice

Anonymous said...

Tis rare that a man vows to both compete competively in a chili cookoff and "pitch my CVS value card" in the same day.

Adelia said...

Hey - he didn't say he was pitching his Sally's card. Craig I will be there with my crock pot full of winner winner chili dinner and will bring a snack dish. I have a firepit I will bring if this weather doesn't go away. Can't wait!